’ Even during the most difficult periods, when John was in the throes of losing his wife and more than sixty percent of the wealth he’d accumulated, there was never a time when he blamed me or rationalized it was somehow my fault. When he was depressed he came to me for comfort, understanding. And then, suddenly, the papers were signed and John was no longer encumbered with a spouse. Margot threw a ‘happy divorce’ party at a chain restaurant, about fifteen people attended, and a savage roast of John’s ex-wife was the theme. I was welcomed not as her successor, but as another member of the group. Of course, I wondered about my future, I loved John, but my friends warned me he would change, throw me aside for an even younger woman, desert me. I publicly denied that possibility, but secretly worried that the three years I’d spent with John would be for naught. A month after the divorce, we escaped from the snows of February to a windward island, and for three days we did little but swim. This was it. A lifelong fantasy was about to be fulfilled.As a young teen, when I first began to ejaculate it was always very forcefully and in large quantity. With no frame of reference, I just assumed that it was like this for all men. It wasn't until I started watching pornos for the first time that I noticed that not many of those guys could shoot the way that I could. What stuck with me the most about those movies were the women in the scenes with the few guys who did shoot larger loads. They seemed to really love that they made their partner cum so hard and be impressed by and appreciative of the way he shot. This resonated with me for obvious reasons. I really wanted to experience that myself.Throughout my teen years I was painfully shy though, and rarely dated, much less had any sexual encounters. It wasn't until my early twenties that I became sexually active, and women's reactions to the way that I could shoot ranged from ridicule to seemingly disgust. I was mortified and.
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