If the maw opened but a few inches further, my whole head would fit inside.I swallowed. How many people died for the squealing ball of flailing arms I saw in the Temple to reach this size? Then I corrected myself. How many Nazis. Hardly as bad as eating random innocents.When I considered what they would have done to others had they lived, I knew I loved this creature for it. I perceived no threat, only adoration, despite the severed ear hanging by a loop of bloodied skin from the corner of the dripping maw. A tentacle flicked it away to land with a splat somewhere off to the side.My attention turned to the smooth, opalescent snout leading to eyes of malachite flecked with gold beneath lashes of obsidian, one either side of the demon’s cranium, and a third on the top. Surrounding it waved a medusan corona of purple feelers, an oily sheen creating eye-watering patterns as they moved. Terror should have been ravaging my mind before such a spectacle, but the sensation of being adored was. An older man was speeding down the road at 80 mph when he looked in his rearview mirror and saw a Texas Highway Patrol car coming with its lights flashing and siren blaring. Thinking he could outrun the trooper, the man speeded up to 100 mph. Suddenly, he realized his foolishness and pulled over to the side of the road and stopped.The trooper pulled up, walked up to the car and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes and it’s Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”The man looked at the trooper and said, “Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper and I thought you were bringing her back.”The trooper replied, “Have a nice day.”While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck.I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she didn’t start behaving herself right now, she would be.
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