But Panama! I didn’t even know where that was. All I knew was that we had signed a contract with a company there that imported our products and they were doing well.After getting my new passport and buying a suitcase, I went home but then made a beeline to the closest Bierstube, or beer house, to my apartment and had two large beers, which was unusual for me. I guess it was down to the nerve-wracking thought of flying for nine hours to a country I didn’t even know where it was or what it was like. I decided to go home and Google it.As I read about the country, my feelings dropped even further. Panama used to be a dictatorship but now was one of the fastest growing economies in all of South America, thanks to a real estate boom and big investments by the government into the amplification of the canal, the building of a metro system, and other governmental incentives.There was a growing concern about corruption, drug import and export. Several European businessmen had been kidnapped. "Yes you will," I said calmly, reasonably. "It's worse now. This past weekend ... well, it's worse now. You can't love me now. You love who I was. I think she's gone now. They killed her."He held me close and said, "I know about this weekend. Well, I know about most of it. I don't care. I already learned my lesson. I know you were hurt, badly. You have been damaged mentally and physically. We'll work at it. You'll get better. We'll get better. I won't let you go again."I knew he meant it. It didn't matter, though. I was going to die soon.I asked him how he found me. I didn't understand what he was doing here and I was curious to know how he found me.He replied, "I received that check you sent me from the sale of the house. I tore it up. I was so pissed. Not at you. I was mad at myself for being such a stupid asshole. I realized I had let the best thing that ever happened to me get away. No, worse than that. I didn't let you get away. I drove you away. I threw you away. It didn't take.
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