’She paused.‘You – you also said, that If I ever thought I needed a spanking, I only had to ask. I’ve wanted to ask you before, but something always seems to get in the way. Will – will you punish me, Mrs Milton? Please! I do think I need it…’I thought about it.‘Can’t you give a better reason, Judy? I mean, I don’t really want to punish you when you haven’t done anything wrong.’It wasn’t often I saw Judy like this. She looked quite upset, and close to tears. I could see her thinking. I suddenly realised how hard it must have been for her to ask me what she had.‘Isn’t – isn’t asking naughty enough? Please, Mrs Milton? I just – I just want you to punish me. Maybe because – because I’m not good enough? Not good enough for Kate?’She started to cry, and I took her in my arms and hugged her.‘Oh, Judy! Of course you’re good enough! You’re wonderful, you should know that, you silly girl!’I cupped her tear-stained face in my hands and looked at her. I sighed.‘Oh, Judy, you are a bit mixed-up,. We haven’t communicated at all. She is standing with a group of Indian students. I’m walking alone when I see her. I pass and circle back to make sure it’s her. She doesn’t see me. I don’t approach. I circle back a second time. I find a friend leaving the same class I came from and walk with him. We pass her together. I look directly at her. She glances in my direction.I know she sees me. She doesn’t smile. She doesn’t wave. She holds my stare for just a second. It’s as if she’s challenging me to approach. And then she looks away like she doesn’t see me. She talks to her friends. Or maybe it’s a guy she’s dating. Nobody looks in my direction. I don’t exist anymore. At least not to her. It’s a late summer morning in 2020.I wake up confused. I don’t know where I am. I’m confused. And I realize it's just a dream. The same dream for twenty years. There was no last meeting. There was no last reconciliation. We never spoke again.I know she’s married now. I know.
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