The screen on the TV went to a 4-panel gray-tone with a dialing count down in the center. Max watched the 5, 4, 3, and 2 all disappear and the screen faded to black. ‘Welkommen!’ a voice said in a friendly manner. The word ‘Welcome!’ came across the still-black screen in all white letters. ‘Das ist ein Deutsche Lection für das Aulander,’ the voice said. The words ‘This is a German lesson for the foreigner,’ faded into view and ‘Welcome!’ faded out. ‘Papieren, bitte,’ the voice said again. ‘Papers please’ flashed up on the screen. It showed a little play-acting between a man in a flannel shirt and a man in what looked like a police uniform. The man in the flannel produced what looked like a passport and handed it to the officer. The scene faded to black. ‘Wo bist du? Ich bin John,’ the voice said again. The voice was beginning to get on Max’s nerves, but this was at least a little entertaining. It reminded him of the typical infomercial voice actor. The words ‘Who are you? I am John,’. "The bar owner was busting a gut laughing until I said, "How is Tahitithis time of the year? You were the one who wanted to take me on thatfour month cruise."He said, "I will pay you twice the pay if you do it and Beth wants totake a day off. She works your shift and you fill in for her and youget some extra cash."I came back with the usual line, "Are tips included?"That got laughs all around and I said would do it.Jane looked at me and said, "You can Nair the hair, but I can help youwith the look." How can you do that?"Jane said, "I own a boutique that caters to business women. I can helpyou look more like a woman. You still have the wig and falsies?"I said, "Yes."Jane added, "Then come on Frank, I help you with the look and throw intwo outfits just for fun."I went at her. "That sounds good, you must MC the show."Jane said, "That sounds good and maybe I might hire you for otherwork."The next day I went to the drug store and picked up some disposablerazors and Nair. I first shaved all.
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