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She didn’t reciprocate at all! Chicks are weird. Then right there where nobody can see and we are both pretty much completely alone she wants to sit down and talk. Was this the sign I was looking for? I really wanted to kiss her or at least put an arm around her and pull her in close. We are sitting on a curb just talking and getting to know one another. She was on my left and I tried to lean back against a brick wall and was about two heartbeats away from letting my arm rest behind her. Then she bumped into it as she leaned back and I pulled it out of the way, my heart pounding in my chest and my ears almost burning from my pulse hammering away. The conversation is pretty innocent and friendly for another 20 minutes or so and then it starts sprinkling. ‘We better go…I don’t want you to get wet…er actually I do but I mean I don’t want you to get rained on.’ I hit that one out of the park!!! I was really proud of my wit and charm there! Of course I get the rolled eyes again. Damn. As good as all that was, I feel cheated. Maybe I'll find the words to explain this as I go on. I expected too much to change, I think. I thought that this would make me a different person. The problem is I'm still me, just a me that has nice cheekbones and no dick. Maybe I'm not giving it time.25/11/05--------Maybe I'll learn to like sex as a woman. My first experience, last night, was less than ideal. I wasn't prepared for the discomfort. I've never been buggered, so I can't really compare, but the feeling of having something stuck into me was strange and difficult.Howard tried to be good to me, trying more in the way of foreplay and understanding that I've ever given any woman who wasn't paying for it, but I never really got turned on. He'd even thought about his lack of sexual attractiveness and borrowed a body for the night: Spanish Stud number 12, if I'm not mistaken. Not one of my favourites to wear, but he tends to be popular. Once he got going he was like an.
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