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He checked out and headed back outside to go home with his prize. He took the subway down to the World Trade Center then hopped a PATH train home to the Jersey side.Once home to his studio apartment in Newark, Ralph opened the package with childish anticipation and draped the shirt on his bed.He nuked a frozen pizza for dinner, showered, and got ready for the night. After pulling his jeans and shoes on, he donned the bright yellow tee shirt that read in bright red letters,CO-ED TANDEMBEER-PISSINGCONTEST WINNERSUMMER 2003EDGE PLAYAll set, he headed back out. He stopped for a drink at his regular hangout, DJ's Bar and Grill -- a "guy's hangout" where there's usually a ballgame on the big screen. Not the kind of place you'd go to meet women, but a good start to the evening.DJ came over to Ralph as he sat at the bar. "Hey Ralph, what'll ya' have?" Gimme a Guinness, DJ." Comin' right up! Say, what's with the shirt? What the hell's a co-ed tandem beer-pissing contest? You really won that?". I started pulling stuff off, steeling myself against the pain Istill felt whenever something moved across my ribs. "Ahhh," I moaned asI gently rubbed the rip marks. When I opened my eyes again, everyone close to me was staring atme. "What the hell happened to you, leprosy?" asked Derek. I grinned as the proper answer came to my mind, and said dazedly,"Oh, Debbie and I had some fun this weekend." Then I hissed as Iscraped my arm against my side somehow. "Don't ever let her tie you up unless you're sure you can take it,"I added facetiously as I gently slid the T shirt over my head and easedit over my upper torso. "Oh, right, you dork," Ed protested from across the way. "That'sfrom that corset you were wearing Thursday." I couldn't pass up a straight line like that. Something like that,it was like a gift from God. "Oh," I drawled loudly, "So you know a lotabout what a corset does to a guy, huh? You must wear one a lot." His, "Fuck you, man," was.
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