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Was it twice or three times you visited the football club in their locker room alone?’ The conversation was taking me aback. I’d never heard them talk like this before, and their body language didn’t change much as they talked: they kept sewing and moving purposefully without a hint that their contest would lead to a larger confrontation. Sheila looked into the distance. ‘It was go grand, they had such beautiful bodies, the footballers. Such teamwork. I couldn’t walk right for a week after they were done with me, and my jaw was ever so sore, I hardly ate a bite.’ ‘Clive Shepard was such a hunk in those days, wasn’t he?’ Mavis broke in. ‘Such lovely muscles and such a tool. I could have died with him on top of me.’ ‘He didn’t always do it on the top, either,’ Mary added, ‘I rode him three Friday nights in a row, and found out later he was taking it up the bum from the midfielder from the local club, what was his name?’ ‘Digger Mathews,’ Mavis said. ‘He ended up in jail one night after. I looked at George and he looked back at me, equally bewildered by Bernie’s sweeping statement. It must have suddenly struck Bernie how stupid his words had sounded. ‘No, I don’t mean that everyone who parks their car in the supermarket car park is having an affair. What I mean is, everyone who parks their car over the side near the road are! They park in there and then sneak next door into the motor lodge for a couple of hours of nooky.’ ‘And the significance of that, with regard to the way you entered my bar this evening?’ George asked. ‘Well Doug’s car has been parked right over in the corner of that car park, by the road, three bloody lunchtimes this week. And it was still there on my return journey after I’d stopped for my lunch break, that’s over three hours later.’ ‘You don’t say.’ George replied, before I’d had a chance to come up with anything. ‘And Doug here always claims that he’s such an upstanding and moral person. Have you told your sister Beatrice about your suspicions.
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