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Poor bastard.I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.Even the cake was in tiers.We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea.Runs in our jeans.A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"A hot blonde orders a double entendre at the bar.The bartender gave it to her.Want to hear a word I just made up?Plagiarism.Why do cows wear bells?Because their horns don't work.What did the pirate say when he turned 80?Aye Matey.To the handicapped guy who stole my bag--You can hide but you can't run.I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.If anything, it made him more sluggish.And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"But John came fifth, and won a toaster.Q: How do you think the unthinkable?A: With an itheberg.Someone stole my mood ring.I don't know how I feel about that.I tried to catch fog yesterday--Mist.The first rule of Alzheimer's. Hence, he had no issue with how I found his mother extremely irresistible, or the fact that I wanked fantasizing about her on occasion using a framed photo in the living room. In the photo, Ma’am was wearing a tight white bikini that was barely able to contain her breasts. Ma’am had no idea about this or how I felt about her, thinking that I was the same kid she taught Biology as I entered middle school, surprising given that I’m her masseur and gym trainer. This Monday morning was no different. Knowing that I was alone in the house, I grabbed the photo and dashed off to my bedroom. My friend’s sister was in school, my friend was away on his internship and Ma’am was away shopping in the city. I took off my clothes at a slow pace, knowing that I had ample time to finish up before anyone arrived, and put on a generous amount of lube on my cock and balls. I got on the recliner and stroked slowly from base to tip, while I gazed into the photo poised on my right hand while my left hand.
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