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The next night at work I get another phone call. It was Jane again. I really didn’t want to talk to her, I was still pissed about last night. She said how sorry she was for teasing me and asked me to come over to smoke. I sensed more bullshit, and told her no. She pleaded, so I made up an excuse and said that I was pretty dirty from work. She said to just come by and I could take a shower at her place, and that I still had some clothes over there that I could wear. I reluctantly agreed, but I just didn’t think I could take more teasing.When I arrived, she opened the door and had on a black teddy. She looked so good. She gave me a towel and my clean clothes, and told me to take a shower while she rolled one up. While I was cleaning up, I was hoping I could contain myself tonight. After my shower, I went downstairs to join her. Jane seemed different tonight, after we smoked she came and sat very close to me. I’m thinking to myself that this girl is full of games. Without warning, Jane. Perhaps it is nerves.I do know the darkness is there. I can see it. I can feel it. But it does not scare me. I may not be out of the woods but I have a bright torch and a spare (backup!) at the ready.I always do the backup thing. In all facets of my life. You name it and I have a backup or spare in place.I may have also forgotten to mention that along with my therapist, I did tell my sister all about my revalations. I even told her it would be easier for me to write this all down and then share it with her on here.I assured her I would not be using any of OUR names. I have no idea if anyone I actually know would find themselves reading any of my words.I really do not care, other than the fact that I don't want my kids or their friends to be able to look at this and say, "Oh, Wow, that sounds like Mr..."!!Well, perhaps if one of her friends suddenly came by and said, "Hi, Mr...". "You did not scar me or give me demons. You opened my eyes and I told my mom all that happened."I can.
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