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If you've got a bunch of bangers in your offensive lineup -- like the Orioles had that year, you might get lucky and pick up a win -- if you could hold down the other club long enough for your offense to come alive and get you back in the game. But if the long reliever comes in with his club behind, and they don't catch up, it's usually the starter who takes the loss on his record. All the reliever has to do is worry about his earned-run average.So, as a rookie, and by definition unreliable, I was in the bullpen. I was kind of the last-resort guy, really. If things went well, I'd just sit there and wait until tomorrow's game. If things went bad early, the manager might turn to me to try and hold 'em until the sixth or seventh inning.Not much glory for the long-relief guy -- but, hell, I didn't care. I was 24 years old and in the big leagues! Asking for more would have been like pouting on Christmas morning!Sure, I had my dreams of being a starting pitcher, but I was determined to be. Five female elves lined up. “Names, NOW, Left to Right!” she yelled like some kind of oppressive leader. “Laura, Michelle, Audrey, Delilah, Holly,” the girls called out looking straight ahead. “This is Santa; you shall address him as such, or suffer the ramifications for not following my orders. Is that clear?!” she called hitting her clipboard. “Yes, Miss Campbell,” the girls called in unison. “You can leave us now, Miss Campbell, I’m sure the elves will adhere to your rules, if not they’ll be on my naughty list. I Promise.” He made a stern face then winked. She drew her eyes closed, making a pissed off face at him, and walked away, her heels clicking away into the distance. “Okay girls, ignore everything she said. You answer to me. You’re MY elves. Only thing I ask is that you call me Santa, so the kids truly believe I am Santa and that they don’t think I’m just some random man in a Santa suit,” he smiled. “Yes, Santa,” they called out. “So tell me Elves, who is to be my.
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