Would that bother you terribly if I took such a trip now and then?" Josie asked me, still hoping that I wouldn't take offense.I smiled at my young Quebecois lover and leaned over to kiss her lips before telling her, "Of course that is fine, if you wish it. I have no intention of keeping you gals in a cage. If you want to travel, travel! We will all have the wealth for it soon enough, right? Montreal is your hometown, anyway, so why would I object to you visiting on occasion? You said that you would come back to me and I believe you, of course. I have no reason to mistrust you. If we cannot trust each other, our love affair is not what it should be, is it?" What if I wanted some of you now and then to join me? Would that be too much trouble?" Josie sounded still rather nervous about asking this question."Then I think that at least one or two of us would be willing to make the trip, if it is practical enough. Depends on our situation at the time, of course, pregnancy and all that. Now,. You and I should have discussed this first.”“I’m sorry. It just kind of happened. I promise you I was going to tell you when we next spoke.”Even as Neil apologized, deep within I knew how unfair I was being. I was telling him how badly he’d treated me, even as I kept the whole Jason baby conversation locked deep within. I didn’t care about being fair. I wanted to punish Neil, to hurt him. Try and make myself feel better, as I made him and Hannah feel worse. I wanted to tear down their happiness that I’d just witnessed. To stamp on it, tear it into a million pieces and flush it out of my life.Neil could see the hurt and anger in my eyes, and he continued holding my stare until he detected the first softening. “Forgive me, Claire. I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please forgive me.”In my anger, my sobbing had reduced to an occasional sniffle. I made him wait, to punish him a little more, but eventually, I told Neil what he wanted to hear.“Okay. I’m still mad at you, but.
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