Within a week it was live on screen; I could hardly believe my eyes! To be honest, seeing my own words actually ‘in print’ in public was both terrifying and amazingly satisfying at the same time.Of course it wasn’t all plane sailing. Although I knew to expect some unpleasant comments, I was shocked and hurt by some of the extraordinarily offensive comments posted and messages sent by the horrible trolls who inhabit the internet and who also seem to lie in wait, preparing to attack unsuspecting authors.The attacks I suffered then and still suffer now could and still can reduce me to tears with their viciousness but when the praise began to arrive a day or so later, I felt a new pride in myself, a pride strong enough to over-ride the hate mail – although there is no way to prevent it hurting.At first I wrote as a woman but received so many unwanted and unpleasant messages that I quickly switched to a male pseudonym which I stuck with for several years. But eventually as the kids grew. "Pay attention to my ballstoo and make my cock rock hard because this time I am going to fuck youlike you've never been fucked before."I didn't fully remember the following thirty minutes. When he first drovehis cock in me I was hit with a rush that almost made me loseconsciousness and turned me into a writhing pleasure machine that meteach thrust of his with one of my own. I don't remember what I said but Ithink I was begging him at one point to fuck me harder. I was almosttaken to the point of unconsciousness. When he finally shot his hot loaddeep inside me I was left completely limp and soaked with perspiration.The sheets were wet with my sweat and I was stuck motionless with my headin the pillow and my empty ass in the air.You would think that was it but it wasn't. If Magic Mike had asked me tokiss him on the lips I would have recoiled and run from the room indisgust. That may seem contradictory, but it isn't. What I crave iscomplete and utter submission. I don't want romance; I.
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