Next morning was Thursday, Thanksgiving Day. Mom was already up in the kitchen preparing our turkey in her usual way. Dad was watching some of the parades on TV as he usually did each year. David had not risen yet, so I got dressed going downstairs to help mom in the kitchen. This was the family’s day together as it was every year that I could remember from early childhood, and it would be no different this year either.David finally joined us downstairs, wanting to know if there were anything he could do to help.Mom said, “Pam and I have everything under control in here at the moment. You can set the table in a little while if you would!”David said, “Since everything is going to take a little while before y’all need me to do anything, why don’t we all join dad in the living room and watch some of the parades with him.”Everything was finally ready. After dad said grace, we began our meal without further delay. We sat eating until we had all finished and then continued to sit there. We have always shared household duties so it also wasn't unusual. What wasn’t usual was the knot I felt in my stomach. That rush of adrenaline when you’re not sure if you should run or fight. I really couldn’t decide if it was excitement, fear of the unknown or something else. It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant. After all, most of us enjoy rides at a carnival or being scared during a horror movie. This feeling felt similar, although I also knew there was a sexual tension mixed with the butterflies.Why I would feel sexually excited was a surprise to me. After all, I wasn’t going to be the person having a new sexual partner. I shouldn’t be feeling aroused. If anything, maybe fear, regret or even anger and resentment. However, those were not the feelings or thoughts I was having. Is it possible that I was living vicariously through what I thought Pam was experiencing? Could it be that a spouse could actually care for his wife so much, that he gained happiness through his wife’s joy, even.
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