We are too little too late. And now Riley is dying – this big 40-year-old man gutshot and I’m just a kid. It could have been me but it’s not and I don’t want to be gutshot either. Through and through in the upper arm maybe . . . a no-boner in the fleshy part of the thigh . . . perhaps a little side-shot – like a modern version of a Heidelberg saber scar. All honorable service. Riley won’t get a medal for this. We’re not fucking green berets with purple hearts flowing out of our asses. This is a hard army. You don’t get medals for nothing in this army. Riley didn’t do anything heroic and that’s the nub of us. We’re anti-heroes. We are anti-Gung Ho. The last thing we care about is heroism. All we do heroism-wise is drag a wounded comrade off the street. The rest is all fear. We crawl from house to house, hearts beating, bowels loose, sweating till we stink like pigs, heads pounding, We are the anti-heroes. We practice making ourselves very very small. We want to be small and skinny. The school was once again a-buzz with excitement. And homecoming was gonna be rough—cause we had to play the tigers once again. After a win over them on opening day, and busting up their three year winning streak, they would be out for b l o o d. Mindy Atkins caught me in the hall-way and asked would I be willing to pose for the art class. I kinda grinned and said sure. It would be forth period, which worked out perfect cause I had study hall. I showed up with football in hand—I figured by asking me a jock type figure is what they were after. There was a podium in the middle of the room, and all the easel's were arranged circular around the center of the room. I figured must be the spot. As I approached the podium, I ripped of my tee shirt, and knocked off my kicks, then stripped out of my jeans and took a stand. Facing the doorway, I took a pose like I was about to throw the ball, much like the now famous pic of Ronald Reagan---'cept he was in full uniform. About this time there.
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